And just like that December has come around yet again, somehow even faster than last year and that means one thing and one thing only: the yard is like a nonstop, revolving door of people known for their sixth sense of arriving when a kettle has just been flicked on.
That is right, it is peak sales rep visit time as they come in their droves delivering the free Christmas goodies (mainly calendars, but who does not need 30 calendars?).
One thing I learned while walking around LAMMA this year is that farmers never grow out of the joy of free stuff, from college students to 70 year olds, a free pen is a free pen and you should aim to collect as many as possible.
However, this year I was hoping the diesel and fertiliser companies would do slightly better than calendars and maybe would have clubbed together to find a new Defender on the driveway after how much we spent with them. But no such luck as of yet, but there is still time and if they fail there is always the big man in the red suit, hopefully.
Now humour me with this next bit as I am only trying to get us all in the Christmas spirit, so I expect your best singing inner monologues for this slightly different rendition of The 12 Days of Christmas, celebrating the free sales rep goodies we are hopefully all currently receiving.
So, deep breath and
On the 12th day of Christmas my sales reps gave to me one Christmas hamper, two winter coats, three tins of sweets, four bottles of wine, five woolly hats, six peaked caps, seven Thermos cups, eight air fresheners, nine notepads,10 key rings,11 pens for writing and 12 calendars so I dont forget when to pay.
Now that nonsense is over with and editor Ben is fully shaking his head at having to include this in his magazine (luckily for me I have already received my Christmas hamper offFarmers Guardianfor writing my ridiculous stories so theres nothing he can do really), all that is left to do is wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy, hopefully less stressful, New Year.
I will be back with more nonsense in the New Year for you all. Hopefully, anyway.
- Editors note: Despite being known as the office grinch, I can confirm that Amy will indeed be invited back to write articles in 2023.
