Dominic Naylor: Early tup clipping made into a family affair raises an awkward question

I’m in two minds about cutting the rye-grass in case the nitrogen is too high, so I will send some grass samples for analysis. I would sooner get it clamped with high quality at the expense of quantity because I feel when it starts raining it won’t stop.

The ewes and lambs are thriving in the warm weather and grass growth has been excellent. I’m supplementing the lambs with creep and have started them off with coarse ration as opposed to the normal pellets because I think it looks better for the rumen.

Despite warnings in the press about the dire consequences of removing expensive energy feeds from the dairy cow’s rations, the girls have responded by knocking 10 days off the calving index. My hard working cowman Richard has decided to take this one further by preventing me from using the mixer wagon and feeding the cows at all. Richard is to machinery what Fred Dibnah was to Lancashire Mill chimneys.

I clipped the tups on Easter Monday, a month earlier than normal, but I think we’re in for a bad year for fly strike. I decided to make it a family affair, not least because I wouldn’t have to pay Rach to wrap wool, but also because I thought the children would enjoy watching daddy being hurled around as I attempted to remove the tup’s fleeces.

One of the Texel tups is called ‘Colonel’ and is Ralph’s favourite. Weighing in at 150kg and 5ft from head to tail, Colonel while normally placid, was in no mood for this annual event. I finally managed to tip him up and began to remove his belly wool when Ralph shouts and points to the tup’s enormous testicles: “Daddy what are they?” Such a moment required me to stop the machine and with Rach and I looking at each other I said: “They’re his plums.” We celebrated the end of clipping with a roast of lamb and crumble and custard. “What’s this,” Ralphy enquires when the pudding arrives. “It’s plum crumble,” Rach said, “Colonel’s plums,” he asks, “No, no they’re fruit plums,” Rach said, trying desperately not to lose this pudding from the weekly menu. “Me no like” and that was that.

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