Online venture helps people in rural areas find new friends

When James Vestbirk returned home to rural Lincolnshire after university, he found all his friends had moved away. Meeting new ones – particularly girls – proved to be more difficult than he thought.

But the realisation that his dilemma was not unique, prompted the young graduate to utilise his IT and marketing skills to set up his own business.

The online venture – www.kissinggates.com – was entirely based on creating a new rural dating site for country dwellers and those in a similar situation to himself.

Having studied marketing and management at Newcastle University before spending some time working for a telecommunications company in Newark, he decided to return to his rural roots and work on the family farm at Ashby Peurorum in Lincolnshire.

“When I came back to live in Lincolnshire, I realise the friends I had grown up with, had all left the area,” he explains.

“I did the usual things like start playing rugby and hockey again, which led to male company. But when a group of us sat in the pub, night after night wondering how we could meet some girls, I decided we couldn’t be the only ones in this situation and the answer might also present a business opportunity for me.”

This realisation was in 2008 and last October, he launched the website.

Traditional romance

Although there are no restrictions to membership, it is aimed at country-minded people who are looking for friendship, companionship or just to date. Members may be farmers, horse riders, country sport enthusiasts or anyone with a love of the outdoors.

The inspiration for the name of the business came from James’ mother, Heather, who drew upon an old tradition to help him conjure up the right image for his business.

The title is in reference to where only one person can pass through a gate at any time, and an old tradition is for a man to demand a kiss from the lady before he allows her through the gate.

James says it seemed an entirely appropriate name for the business.

“Broadband is now being rolled out to more rural areas and it is proving to be a lifeline for many people living in these communities, both personally and in terms of working from home or starting up new businesses,” he says.

“Online dating has always been a bit of a taboo, but now more people are comfortable with using the internet and, in spite of – or perhaps even because of – the recession, it is booming.

“Social networking, on sites such as Facebook, is familiar to most people. So it is really just a side step away from that.

“Some people are reluctant to post their photo on the site, but when I explain it’s really only the same as putting it on Facebook, most agree.”

Registration is free and then full membership, which allows you to both send and receive messages from other members, is £15 per month.

Real people

James says he wants people to go on to the site and have a look around to begin with, and then by charging a membership fee, he can firstly check they are real people and, if they have to pay a small charge, he also believes it helps to ensure they are genuinely committed to finding someone.

“The site has to be safe – we have a protection policy in place and offer advice to members, although most of it is just common sense.

“Initially, I thought the site would mainly attract 18-30 year olds, but actually the biggest growth area is for older people, which is probably not surprising considering there are many more people living on their own than there used to be, and a lot of the usual places where you may have socialised, such as local pubs, are closing – particularly in rural areas.”

After joining, members put a profile of themselves on the site and can make use of the search facility, which has categories such as age, county and radius.

“Although it is entirely up to the individual, in practical terms it is probably better to meet someone within a reasonable travelling distance of where you live,” he says.

“Through my own experience of using the site, it’s amazing how many people there are living nearby who you would never have met in any other way.

Prepared to put his money where his mouth is, he has used the facility to kick-start his own dating agenda.

“The first girl I dated lived in Horncastle, which is only about four miles away, but our paths had never crossed before.

“Statistics show you are only compatible with two out of every hundred people you meet in the course of your life. So it’s unrealistic to think you are going to meet the love of your life straight away on a dating site. Although you might well do so.

“I have had quite a few dates through the site and although I haven’t yet found a lasting long-term relationship, I have made lots of friends and you meet their friends and find yourself with a much larger social network, which in itself increases your chance of finding love.”

Dating by numbers

Since its start-up, kissinggates.com is attracting around 50-100 registrations per day. However, the busiest time of year seems to be from around Christmas time through to Valentine’s Day, dropping off through the summer, when people are busier with harvest and other outdoor activities.

For James, running the site combines well with life back on farm.

He is the third generation of his family, who originate from Denmark, to farm the 200 hectare (500-acre) Church Farm at Ashby Peurorum.

His father, Hans, runs an agricultural business consultancy, so most of the arable work is done by contractors, with James taking responsibility for managing the grassland and livestock, which consist of a flock of Lleyn ewes and Lincoln Red cattle.

“Although I wanted to return to farming, I knew that on this acreage I would have to have another income as well,” he says. “The online space has given me that opportunity, while still living in the countryside. I think it has huge potential for farmers to start up new businesses.

“The overheads are low, you can trade 24/7 and you can reach people all over the world.

“It is important you don’t become complacent - if you have a web-based business, things move on and change very quickly, so you have to keep up to date.

“There is, however, a great deal of free help and advice available and I employ experts to help me, but usually only on an hourly basis, which again keeps costs down.

“Setting up my business has been a great experience for me and I am enjoying growing the business and moving it forward.

“But probably the most surprising things has been how rewarding has been to be part of helping people create new friendships and relationships.”

Go to www.kissinggates.com

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